She is 17 years old and pregnant with her first child. Unmarried. Unemployed. Just finished SPM.
She came into the consultation room looking happy and excited. Unlike most of the pregnant teenagers I see who walk in looking scared or annoyed.
'Adik datang dgn siapa harini?'
'Boyfriend saya Ada kat luar..'
'Ada plan nak kahwin ke dik?'
'Ade, akhir bulan ni kot..'
'Mak ayah dah tahu dik?'
She looked down for awhile, then shook her head. I asked why she didn't tell her parents..
'Diorang tak ade pon sekarang Dr, dah kena tangkap..'
'Dah kena penjara Dari December haritu..kes dadah..diorang jual heroin. Memang dah lama hisap dadah. Dari saye kecik lagi..tapi diorang hisap dalam bilik je, tak nak kasik kami tengok..'
I was shocked, sad and angry all at the same time. But all I could think of at the moment was whether she's a drug addict herself, as it would affect her baby.
'Saya pernah cuba Ice je masa form 3. Tapi x best la Dr..tak nak dah..'
'Adik x pernah try heroin ke?'
'Tak nak la Dr, nanti jadi macam Mak ayah saya..'
She had 2 other siblings - 19 and 12.
Since she could remember, her parents have been drug addicts and pushers. In and out of rehab centres, but this is the first time they are jailed.
She led her life as normal. Went to school. Had friends. Multiple boyfriends.
Her parents faught a lot. Treated each other badly, especially when they didn't have the 'goods'. It broke her family apart, so she looked for love elsewhere.
Found 'the love of her life' in school. He was kind to her. Smoked, but didn't do drugs. He never hit her. Talked to her, listened to her. Cared about her. All he wanted was sex in return. To her, that's too small a price to pay. It was an act of love for him.
Now she's pregnant. He wants to be responsible. Unlike many others.
Some people look at people like her and are disgusted. They pass remarks, and judge her.
In all honesty, so did I. I couldn't help thinking - gatalnye these kids. When I was 17, I was still budak hingusan. I didn't have boyfriends. Things that mattered were studies, friends, rumah hijau, ELS.
But I didn't have to go through what she did. My parents had stable, honest jobs. There was always food on the table. Clean clothes. I didn't have the police coming over my house searching for drugs. I didn't have to deal with the societies stigma on families of druggies. I didn't have to go elsewhere to search for love - I got it at home.
I cannot imagine what I would turn out like if I had been in her shoes. I think it's amazing that she's not a drug addict by now. That she knows her family condition isn't ideal and she doesn't want that for herself and her baby.
All I can do is try to support her throughout this pregnancy. To make sure she comes for her appointments. To educate her and her soon to be husband on what a huge thing it is to raise a child. To make sure they don't go back to the home with heroin on the floors.
When we look at troubled children/teens, most of the time, they come from troubled families with love-less relationships. Some have parents who no longer behave like parents. Divorced. Mother left to some other city with her lover. Single mothers working 3 jobs to feed her children, never having time to talk to them (those cases are the saddest). Most of them work like crazy with minimal pay to buy goods with prices that have rocketed.
We can't change their past, but we can try to introduce them to a new future. First thing to do is clear our hearts from judgement. And pray that Allah sends them guidance. And protects the little one in the womb.
Source: FB Za' Faran Hisham
Salam Ukhuwah dari saya. Dr Nik Rahim Nik Wajis (Ibn Nik Wajis) +6014 820 7111 (Call/Whatsapp) / +6018 356 3832 (call /sms only) Nilai, Negeri Sembilan